iris.....is it she.....i am still searching for the answer

twist in the tale......

nothing in this world seem to go smoothly. as far as my experience i have seen fate taking U-turns till i realize my goals. but why does this twist takes place. is it some sort of destiny or is it the Supreme Being's way of guiding us (i donot intend to make this a religious post). it may be, but does it do us any good. someone may just be saved from doing a grave mistake but on the other-hand he may be dissuaded completely from what he is doing and waste his life doing baseless work. they seem to be funny when it confuses one, but is it always funny ? i was taking stroll in the park with Iris, she signed to me to look at her hand. there was a scare there. i asked her the history. it was sad. i am glad, i never had that kind of twist in the tale.

music....

the sound of music is soothing to one and all. it is the essence and meaning of my life. i can relate myself to music. they take me deep into my thoughts, to places where i have never been before, they realize me of the experiences that i never had. surreal. that is the one word which can describe my experience with music. few days back i had gone to watch a hindi film. the film was good, but the music made it excellent. it made me relate to the film. it kind of kindled a sense of patriotism in me. the voice lent to the music lifted my spirits. i wanted to dance, let loose myself. dance as if no one is watching me. Iris, she listens to the music, but not through her ears. her eyes sees it, her skin feels it. the gentle breeze helps her in identifying it. the grace of her body strikes you. she is the ultimate dancer. nature has its own mysteries. it takes away from you something but gives you such talent that you dont need the earthly attributes. Iris is earthly with the gift of nature.

the walk....

yeah!.... the other day i was watching , "a walk to remember" and i heard a line...."i dont want a reason to be angry with God". i am an agnostic, but this line kind of stirred me. my thoughts again went back to Iris. does she has a reason to be angry with God. may be yes, may be no. may be she is happy, may be she is not. her walk of life seems very different. i hope she has a companion.

friends.....

friends have always been an integral part of my life. life without them would have been impossible for me. on the hindsight is it true ? school friends, undergrad buddies and grad companions. i categorize them. i dont know whether it is good or bad, but from an engineer's point of view we always look for a solution which has the easiest approach. can i always carry the engineer's point of view ? does looking at things and analysing them to the core always works ?

you dont analysize friends. but do you categorize them like me ? school friends are those with whom you grew up. some of them know you inside out. others are just people whom you met almost everyday for about 12 years or so. i always thought, "school friends cannot change, you can always bank upon them". true but not always. undergrad buddies. they are the ones with whom you had your first drink. you shared your fraternity initiation with them. had night outs, went on random drives, cheered for them. in the 3-4 years that you spend with these buddies you develop a kind of closeness that is new to you. grad companions. have just met them.

friends are alway there for you, if you have been there for them or you appear to be one who will be there for them. many will argue that this is not the case as true friendship is never like that. true but how much truth is there ? i think i am being too critical of my friends. i should not be. why ? because i have friends who have always been there for me ? there is one though.

what about Iris. i think she has friends. may be a boy friend too. but why is she there? she could have been in a better place. why did not her friends stop her ? the very place that i found her made me think about friends. i am lucky but i guess she is not.

40th day

today is the 40th day of my stay in the US and have absolutely no idea as to how many '40 days' i will stay here. things have been good so far. smooth sailing has been been the order of the day, rare bumps. the initial days are exciting because whatever you see is new, whatever you do is almost always new. but soon these things will become old for me, but i have a feeling that these things will forever excite me. i should have been an archaeologist. but since i am not i have to be contented with what i am.

i always thought that US is a happy country, people have few sorrows. but i realized very soon that they have their own problems, the curse of being a citizen of the most powerful country in the world. one thing that struck me fast was the fact that people here are highly individualistic but have a great ability to work in a team. may be the latter is to satisfy the ego of the first. when i saw Iris first i thought she was beautiful. someone straight out of the dreams. i could understand her from the very first sight, and that was the very first talk that we had. but did we talk ?

Back Again.......

its good to be back in familiar territory. but this time the driving force is somewhat more different, something more abstract and is dedicated to an unknown person. the fast life of our times, seems to drown oneself into oblivion. the character is defined by something more dramatic rather than just deeds. the sad eyes of Iris, which made me write this shows the inner strength of a person to fight the odds. the silence of her voice deafen me and i go back to find the story, which my grandfather never told me.